my friends应改为单数my friend
period应改为复数periods
needs 的时态不对,应为 need
20~30minutes 该为20~30minutes’
use the telephone前面加上to
spend lots of time outside in nature and with animals 前面也加上to
and quiet、no traffic改为quiet and no traffic
not always 前加上are
as she like改为likes
、reading after school为and reading after school
wish后可跟双宾语,hope后则不能,I hope she everything will OK in Middle school是不存在的.应改为 I hope everything will OK for her in Middle school.