It becomes a prevailing arguement/argument //谓语定语和宾语搭配都不对that which method provides//主谓搭配不对 a more effective way of study,computers and with internet/Internet,or schools and with teachers.In this essay,I'd like to dicuss/discuss both /of the/删 opinions //in advantages and disadvantages.//没有这样的用法

First of all,there is no denying that internet//Internet has its own bad/negative effects.But before we jump onto the bandwagon to write them off//没这个搭配 down,let us consider some of the points that may be made in their defence.From my point of view,the biggist//biggest advantage of internet//改 is /that 书面语不要省that/ it brings enomous/enormous and accurate resourses/resources且accurate和resources搭配不当 further/far more than a teacher can provide.And it is very convinient /convenient too.Just move the mouse,input/type in the address,click the words or pictures /you are interested in,then you can find almost everything you want.Besides,there are plenty of vivid pictures,lovely flashes,even interesting games that can make children be keen on study.After all,as the famous saying goes,"interest is the best teachier/teacher".However,this advantage,which is/删 seemed/seems so attrative/attractive,leads to the worst result that children always concentrate on having fun and forget to study because of the/删 poor self-control.Futhermore/furthermore,staring at the computer screen for a long time does unescapable/inescapable//用irreparable合适 and permanent harm to the eyesight of young children.

Secondly comes to //有这样的用法么?learning in schools and with teachers.The/删 teacher/s,obviously,can not provide students /with as much academic kownledge/knowledge as the internet /can do,but there are something that a computer can never do.In fact,a teacher not only play a role of/as an educator,but also a role of /as mother or father//a parent/a family,who solve the moral and mental problems of children to make sure they grow up in a healthy way.

In my opinion,children definitly/definitely should go to school for education instead of via internet/Internet at home,because children ought to study with their peers,learning to communicate with each other and their teachiers/teachers.This,I consider,is more sinificant/significant than learning pure/删,没有纯知识这样的搭配 konwledge/knowledge itself/alone.

帮你简单改了下,5分左右,主要是拼写和搭配错误较多,有些模板句型用的还是不错的.再接再厉,注意小的拼写和语法错误,积累多些地道的搭配和用法,再结合好的模板句型,你上6分很有希望的.