我写的英语作文,求指导Passage 4 假如你是李华,从小就喜爱大熊猫,一直通过有关网站关注三年前在美国圣迭哥动物园出
1个回答

LZ,您好!

经过我们年级组的商量,给出的建议是：

行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用；多多加强从句和复杂句的使用；文章词汇表达多样性要提高,单词拼写方面还要继续努力；请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开.

接下来点评文章：

Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Li Hua , who is a panda lover.

[标点错误] 标点与其前面的单词之间 不应该有空格,请检查

I have paid close attenion

to about website three years, and I known the just born parda Sulin and her

mother White Cloud.

[句子错误] 本句语法不规范,请检查!

[词语错误] 词性错误,I known不规范,建议修改.

[拼写错误] attenion

拼写错误,可替换选项为：attention, attuning, attaining

[拼写错误] parda 拼写错误,可替换选项为：pad, payday,

purdah

[低频提示] her mother white cloud

无此用法,疑似中式英语

First of all, happy brith to Sulin.

[拼写错误] brith 拼写错误,可替换选项为：broth, birth, breath

Then, thank of about worker look after them.

[低频提示] about worker look

无此用法,疑似中式英语

[低频提示] about worker look after them

无此用法,疑似中式英语

Finally, I wanted Sulin three years old brithday photos.

[拼写错误] brithday 拼写错误,可替换选项为：birthday, Brita, Britta

I do hope them happy life.

[句子错误] 本句语法不规范,请检查!

[名词错误] happy life 前面冠词缺失

[词语错误]

用词不当,建议将hope改为wish. wish可以加双宾语,hope不可以加双宾语. [低频提示] i do hope them 无此用法,疑似中式英语

Li Hua

[句子错误] 句子不完整

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