I saw three foreign men taking food in a pitch last night,it was really dirty.
时间一般放在句子的后面;
用yesterday就不如用lastnight;
男老外嘛,foreign man,注意复数;
eat rice吃米饭?原文只是吃饭;
夜宵摊,英语没有这个词,你的翻译是night food,中式英语,戒之!
pitch才是小摊.
看到某事用see,不用look,过去式用saw,后面用分词短语就可以了.
环境脏是过去的描述,用was不用is,环境不用那么麻烦,用it就可以了.