（1）My name is LH ,I'm a high school student（两个英语句子之间不能用逗号,要用句号）
（2）Because of my high school life is to be end ,will have a long break for vacation ,so I did a lot of plans.（Because和so 不能一起用,有because 就无so.because of 后面不能跟句子,所以要把of去掉.is to be end 改为 is going to come to an end.will前加I ,break 是很短暂的休息,这里用不合适.直接写 and I will have a long vacation（加and 是为了整句话的逻辑）.I did a lot of plans,前面用将来时,这里不能用过去时.而且,是make a lot of plans.
（3）And then ,I have some where you want to go sightseeing.前面用 first,这里用second 比较好.some where应改为somewhere 或者 some places,you 改为 I .
（4）such as to Beijing 其中的 to 是多余的.go to Shenzhen to watch sports 改为 and Shenzhen where I can watch sports matches.(这里我把你的意思默认为比赛,不能只写sports)
（5）But before all of this 由于前面提得东西很多,这里应该用复数“these”
我不知道有没有改漏什么,就先这样子吧.
