AS I WILL 应该改为IT FOLLOWS MY WAY
USE IT FOR GOOD 改为 USE IT WELL
WHAT I DO 改为 WHAT I WILL DO
THIS DAY WILL BE GONE 改为 THIS DAY WILL LEAVE ME AWAY
LEAVING IN TIS PLACE SOMETHING THAT I HAVE TREDED 改为 LEAVE ME THE HARVEST OF IT
NOT LOSE 改为 DON'T LOSE
REGRET THE PRICE 改为 REGRET FOR THE PRICE
这些只是一些语法错误 至于语言习惯错误 搭配错误 就不挑了
此文章属于中国式英语 希望努力