有大神能修改下段落里的语法错误么?

I want to study abroad for my university study because I wanna to expand my horizons and know the foreign culture.In addition,in my opinion,the education system of foreign universities is better because it more focus on academic.Furthermore,studying abroad can improve me English,which may help me to find a fine job after me graduate from university.The experience of study can enrich my life.

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I want to study abroad for my university because I wanna expand my horizons and know the foreign culture. In addition, in my opinion,the education system of foreign universities is better because it pays more attention on academic. Furthermore, studying abroad can improve my English, which may help me to find a good/nice job after my graduation. Also the experience of study can enrich my life.

注：wanna 相当于want to

pays more attention on 更加注重

improve me English是错的,应该是my English我的英语

fine一般指健康的,精巧的,较少形容工作

after my graduation同上

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