"切题,段内的分层也是合理的,但是考官更愿看到的是每个分论点的展开和逻辑组织能力.这一点不够.句式比较死板,而且还有很多拼写错误.分数是5-5.5
In the present age.the media is/are playing significant roles in our lives .But in the meantime whether news media has become influential 加on our life nowdays has sparded much debate. some people assert that it is negative development. Personally,I think this view overlook important of this issue. 不合理, 要改成 overlook importance of media
There are reasons of the people to believe that the news media is advantage /have advantageous development .First of all, it seems that the news media is/ play the important roles in our lives and it is /they are prevalent.There is ample evidence suggesting that nowdays/这个单词不宜多用 whether you where go/wherever you go, you can see news media and we 怎么主语不一致? get the best information from the media.e.g. on Tv program, in the internet,and so forth.Let、/it is common for us don't/not to go out home and know around the world.Moreover, news media promote the cultural communication and interaction between person and person.This can be best illutrated with the example of the equke (the equake in wenchuan)At that time,we can up-to-date get the fresh news in the media and through it deliver our emotions.Lastly,news media expose the scandals.In other words,media can help us to resolve something that we can resolve./很啰嗦,media can help us to resolve something beyond our abiity
On the other hand, it is worth pointing out there are also arguments supporting the opion that news media is a negative development.The main one may be the media 加 sometimes is/are false. It is evident that the news from the paparazzi who always report something about the celebrities.But most of the time/at most times,it is biased.Despite this,an apparent problem with this opinions is violate someone's privcy/violation of people’s privacy .Consequently, we should not lookover the fact objective and balanced.
In summary,I would concede that news media influnctial/influence is a negative development. Despite that /although the news media can give us increasingly advantage.Overall,I am convinced that new outlets should have their cod of conduct."
