1.He went for a walk in the park just to relax(enjoy) walking in the park
2.This road goes straightly(straight) from our house to the center of the city
3.We all hope her to get the first prize.(hope没有这样的用法,改成hope that she...)
4.There are many ways to know the society.(不能分成2个句子)For example by TV,radio,newspaper and so on.
5.When one have(has) money,he can do what he want(wants) to.
6.We can also know the society by serving it yourself(ourselves).
7.There are many ways we get to know the outside world.(不间断句子,改成定语从句的形式比较好,比如there are many ways through which we can learn about the outside world.)
8.All(at) the age of ten,my grandfather died.
而且这句话有歧义,是我还是我爷爷呢?最好写成when i was ten,...