高考作文 假如你是一名高三学生,最近你看了一则央视公益广告Family且深有感触.请用英语 你校英语报写一篇立志学习,感
1个回答

Recently a public service advertisement Family has impressed me (and moved) me deeply.

评价:不错

修改:

In the picture, ‘F’ stands for father, ‘M’ stands for mother, and ‘I’ is me.

评价:描述性文字中规中矩

修改:

The picture reveals a theme that wherever there is love, there is responsibility.

评价:好评

修改:

【新段】

When I was young, parents take the responsibility and (hold back)【shoulder】 rain and wind (by themselves)【for us.】

评价:hold back 读不懂

修改:

Father (earns money and )supports the family, while mother (cook meals and) do【es】 all the housework.

评价:不要重复

修改:

In constract, I the one who (are)is loved and protected.

评价:语法错能忍吗

修改:

As I grow up day by day, I find that parents (become old)【are getting older and older】.

评价:怪怪的

修改:

Father has to use a stick to help him walk, and mother aren’t beautiful as she were.

评价:不错的句子

修改:

I realize that it(’s) 【should be my】time I took responsibility and care for the family in turn. 【and enable my parents enjoy the happiness that they can get rid of burdens】

评价:不通啊!你读~

修改:

【新段】

The public advertisement make me in deep thought.

评价:有这样的用法?

修改:用give me a lesson

Our parents work hard to let us grow up happily, but used up their energy and became old in the end.

评价:蛮感动的

修改:

We finally grow up but to find they are old and 【in?】 grey.

评价:but to !严重错误连词后面加句子,扣分!你妹!气氛都被破坏了

修改:

We were brought up under selfless love from a 【naive】 baby to an 【mature】 adult.

评价:略显单调

修改:

(Since )parents become old and we are (young)【surprised that ww are strong】,【.】【It's the very time for us to create a happy life for our parents. So】 we should take the responsibily and do things for our family.

评价:充实之

修改:

Action speaks louder than words. I love you, father and mother!

评价:这次结尾好了很多!点赞,开头还得再吸引人一点.避免语法错误.

修改: