六级作文,Nowadays,there are a large number of people like to cel
4个回答

第5行的on the one hand 去掉the,不需要定冠词

第6行的colourful,您指的是多彩吧?可以把句子改成:On one hand,western festivals have very rich/varied contents,so they can make people feel happy.

这里的happiness是名词,应当为feel+形容词(happy)

第7行becomes改为becoming,poeple后面的部分也改为 are more willing to .以配合上文的递进关系

第9行的decreased改为has decreased.become去掉

最后一句重新整理为:

This phenomeno makes culture colourful while decreasing our intention of protecting troditianal (Chinese) festivals.